After Dominating Pop-Punk, Experts Speculate What Genre MGK Plans to Ruin Next
By: Alfred Barnes
Baltimore, MD- Colson Baker, better known by his pseudonym “Machine Gun Kelly,” has been a force to be reckoned with in the realm of genre hopping. Getting his musical career started with rap music in 2009, MGK quickly made a name for himself by making music that even fraternities said “Nah, I’m good.” to.
After a decade of mediocrity, culminating with a beef with Eminem that had critics saying, “Remember when rap beef ended with someone getting shot? We should start that back up.” MGK decided to hang up the Book Sox textbook cover he pretended was a durag and pursue a genre with less competition from people of color: pop-punk.
His debut release in the genre, “Tickets to My Downfall,” was immediately popular among upper middle class white kids age 5–11. Unfortunately, people who like music that isn’t bad weren’t as keen on MGK’s new incarnation. Says long time fan of Blink-182 Skeeter McGoon, “Back in my day, pop-punk was about wearing Vans and skating or something or another. IDK. Look, man, are you going to give me a dollar or not?”
With the follow-up to “Tickets to My Downfall” on the horizon, it seems that it’s too late to save pop-punk. Experts are meticulously compiling a list of genres they believe are in jeopardy of being next on MGK’s warpath in preparation of the onslaught.
The following is a statement from Head of the Bureau for MGK Deterrence, John Skizjahsky.
“We are living in a time of great fear. With genres like rap and pop-punk crumbling beneath this relentless plague, all we can do is prepare. For fans of country music, we recommend staying inside and listening to your Kenny Chesney and Willie Nelson while you still can. We think that, due to the wave of country artists incorporating rapping into their songs and the simple construction of country music, it is a potential target for MGK. Other genres of concern are jazz, dubstep, and post-grunge as they are generally viewed as ‘bad.’”
It is unknown what genre the Cleveland native will take on next, but one thing is certain: no genre is safe.
